Top 10 Inventions Ever

OK. So this list is debatable but after much thought and a few beers, here goes in reverse order:

10: Cheese Sauce- think about it; Nachos at the Ball Game, QuickTrip hot dog dripping with cheese, Nachos anywhere besides the ball game, the gringo dip at 54th Street grill- all brought to you by cheese sauce. And you can buy it by the 6.5 pound can at Costco. We made an entire crockpot full at Halloween and Clark Dooley and I must have eaten 3/4 by ourselves. Needless to say, I had no need to use the bathroom for about 9 days but the ensuing anal hurricane was worth every second of cheese sauce heaven.

Here's my favorite recipe:

Ingredients:
1 6.5 pound Giant can of Que Bueno cheese sauce from Costco (about $10)
1 Bag of your favorite tortilla chips. (About $4)

Directions:
First warm cheese. Then dip chips in cheese and enjoy!

9. Icemaker- Do you remember filling the ice cube trays as a kid? Half you freezer was full of ice cube trays and the worst was when you ran out during the summer. Warm water when it's 95 degrees out? Not a pleasurable taste. Luckily, ice cube trays are a thing of the past. They still sell trays at Wal-Mart by the way. Can you imagine buying ice cube trays in 2009 for anything other than making jello shots? You know you're old school when you still have more blue plastic then ice cream in your freezer.

8. Fox Soccer Channel/ Sentanta Sports/ ESPN Saturday AM Premier League/ Gol TV. For the first 35 years of my life, I wished for one thing more than any other. Quality international soccer covering both clubs and country. Then, after I ordered Dishnet, I discovered these fantastic channels and my weekends no longer consist of Saturday baseball, Sunday football, or any other sport besides football starting at 7 AM Saturday morning (depending on whose playing). Since being able to watch every weekend (and midweek matches as well), I have become a huge supporter of Manchester United. (Wayne Rooney for FIFA player of the year in 2010!) If you love soccer, send me a comment. By the way, Chelsea are wankers. USA 2010!

What other sport do the fans chant during the entire game in unison? Not anything here in the US- hell half the fans don't even know what's going on, when to cheer or what color "their" team is wearing. But I digress. A couple of my favorites:

Take me home, United Road,
To the place, I belong;
To Old Trafford, to see United;
Take me home, United Road.

And the anti-Chelsea chant I love the most:

Stamford Bridge is falling down!
Falling down! Falling down!
Stamford Bridge is falling down,
Poor old Chelsea! (Generally, they substitute old with a word that rhymes with mucking)

7. Remote Control- Remember when you had to get up out of the Lazy-Boy to change the channel? Neither do I. And that's a very good thing. They waited to invent cable and satellite TV until after the remote was invented so we all didn't get carpal tunnel from manually changing the 600 different channels while half crouched by the TV as our spouses/ moms/ dads/ siblings yelled at us to get out of the way.



6. Golf. What other sport can you smoke stogies and drink beer while playing? And when else do you get to wear plaid shorts, a glove on your left hand only, and a visor without looking like a backup dancer for TPain?

5. Mobster movies. The Godfather Trilogy, Goodfellas, Casino, Heat, The Departed just to name a few. Is there a better movie genre than this?

4. Fire. Not really an invention as much as a discovery but hey, whatever. Consider: heat, cooking over an open flame, Evil Knievel's awesome fiery ring motorcycle rides, and most importantly drinking beer next to the firepit all spring/ summer/ fall long. It's a guarantee that if you make a fire, people will be there.

3. Kegerators. A fridge that holds just a keg allowing draft beer to be served from any location in your house! We had one in our living room at the pad in Creve Couer. That was the happiest time of my life. There's something about a leftover bowl of chili and a 20 ounce Budweiser for breakfast that just can't be appreciated enough. BONUS: A kegerator can prevent you from breaking your mom's refrigerator and bathtub trying to keep the keg cold. Not that we ever saw John Cabbage break his parents fridge and tub in the span of about 15 minutes...

2. The internet. Ebay, live sports scores, fantasy sports, and this blog. Need I continue?

1. Beer- seriously, what else could be #1?