Cheap Beer rankings!!!! The best beer test ever invented!

Ever wander into the beer aisle with $6 in your pocket and wonder which beer is the best cheap beer out there? Neither do I- BUT, if you ever do, this blog entry is for you! Me and 8 of my closet friends did the dirty work for you. We tested 9 beers with 6 pack prices under $6 and survived to tell about it. I'm pretty sure we lost a lot of productivity hours in the library the next day; but hey, it's all in the name of research. So here goes- a complete breakdown of the nine beers we tried along with their average rankings from 1 to 9 and some comments from everyone involved.



As you can see, not exactly a symposium on the finer points of micro-brewing... On to the rankings!!!! We used the same score as the rest of the blog; 0-5 with 5 being highest. Surprisingly, none of these came in at a 5.0.

The first three:



#1 Milwaukee's Best Light: Actually, not too bad. A slight bit of taste for a light beer and much smoother then most of us remembered. The overall ranking came in at 3.21. Here are some of the better commens:

Chris R: Better then expected. Used to hate it.
Kevin P: Crisp start, rusted pipe finish.
John D: Nasty from the smell to the burp.

#2 Natural Light: Again, not so bad. It was rumored this was Busch Light before AB put out the awful crap that is Busch Light. A much finer beer here. I think of the 9 gentlemen in the room, we figured we had consumed at least 4000 cases of this over the last 25 years. Overall ranking was a surprisingly low 2.41.

Cory M: The beer with the taste for food.
Tom W: Smooth and refreshing. A welcome taste in this valley of crap taste test.
Brad O: Just add water and sugar and you get ghetto juice. Not sure if I should take a drink or use it to boil pasta in.

#3 Hamm's Special Light: If this is "special" I'll settle for the regular version anytime. The closest thing to water this side of a public urinal in a truck stop at 11:30 on a Saturday night. Overall ranking was a 2.75. How did this rank higher then Natty Light? Redo!!! Kevin, we'll be back next Friday!

Chris R: Smells like a wet dog- no offense.
Rob P: No real taste.
John D: Tastes like wet cardboard.

BEERS 4-6.



Miller High Life: The champaign of beers. Probably Andre Brut' but "champaign" none-the less. Overall ranking came in at a whopping 3.56! I guess we wanted to live the High Life!

Kevin P: Tastes like salty skin. (That's what he really wrote- I swear)
Tom W: Tastes like the skidmarks from a BMW 7 series.
John Dooley: Certainly the champaign of cheap beer.

Stroh's: Kevin and I thought it would be a good idea to buy 15 of these for about $7at Shop N Save before we started this test. This will go down as one of the worst decisions I made in my whole life. This beer was started in Detroit. I think we now know why Eminem dos not proudly stroll onstage with a can of Stroh's. The overall ranking was a about a 1.1. Seriously.

Chris R: Why did they put dishwashing detergent in it? It was a bad idea to try and chug this stuff.
Cory: Tatses like window cleaner. (Why do all of my friends drink household cleaners?)
Tom W: Simply the worst beer ever created. Period.

Stag: I used to drink this out of the short little brown bottles when I was about 18. I thought it was OK then. Not sure it has stood the test of time. Overall ranking was 2.45. Comments from the peanut gallery:

Kevin P: The Pro Keds of beer.
John D: General taste of ass with a hint of shoe.
Dave L: Bad from the start. Smells like (a teacher in the Wentzville District's) (female area)*

*Comments were slightly modified so I don't get kicked off theis site (and Dave L doesn't get fired- Dave you're welcome).

And the final three:



Icehouse: I never drank this stuff- ever. Now, I know why. Others liked it but not the author of this blog. Sorry, you lose. Overall rating was a 2.95.

Rob P: Good start, bad finish.
Kevin P: Puffed rice start, Malt-O-Meal finish.
Cory M: Smells like a cat's butt, tastes like a cat's butt.

waters...
Hamm's: From the land of sky blue waters... The beer with the coolest jingle in all of history. Add in the Hamm's beer bear and you had some great commercials. If only the beer was as good as the advertising. Overall rating was about a 1.3. Comments for this were so good I'm going to list a few extra.

Rob P: Horrible. Bad taste. (For the record, he almost threw up after he tasted this one).
Kevin P: He started singing the Air Supply song: "All out of Love" for Hamm's. I'm guessing that he didn't care for it.
Tom W: The 2nd worst beer ever created. Whoever said the water was sky blue was colorblind because this water had to be yellow.
Brad O: I'm looking around to see if they are playing a practical joke on me because this really tastes like urine. (For the record, it was just the Hamm's in the can- no help was necessary.)
John D: Smells like a sock after playing indoor soccer.
Cory M: First taste was OK. The second reminded me of an ashtray.

LAST, and not the least was Olympia. The Butler Bulldogs of the taste test! No one expected anything but this impressed everyone. A nice surpise. Overall ranking was a 2.96.

Kevin P: Nutty grain start; orange peel finish. Reminds me of blue moon. (Anything would after the Stroh's).
John D: It in the water all right; the leftover water from the Stroh's factory.
Corey M: A nice golden brown color. Tastes like poop though.
Brad O: Best so far. Must be in the water. (He gave this a 5).

AND THE WINNER IS:
Miller High Life with a 3.56!!!!
#2 Milwaukee's Best Light 3.21
#3 Olympia 3.00
#4 Icehouse 2.95
#5 Hamm's Special Light 2.75
#6 Stag 2.45
#7 Natural Light 2.41
#8 Hamm's 1.30
#9 Stroh's 1.1

There it is. Science never lies! Go live the High Life (if you can't afford real beer). It is good stuff- especially if you only have about $5 for beer! Thanks to Kevin for hosting. Basement looks great. Thanks to everyonewho participated and took time to participate in this "tomfoolery."

Tom W